Yesterday, after a very long day, Red decided to be a pill about something and in my response to his charm, I chucked his freshly opened bag of Cheddar Cheese Chex Mix out of my truck and into the driveway. Hmpf! That will fix him I thought, claiming my silent victory. Soon after coming inside, regret began to toy with me. Firstly, why was I beating up a bag of Chex Mix? It was Red whom I wanted to poke with a sharp stick. And secondly, I was now faced with the potential problem of drawing wildlife into my yard. I was way too proud, or embarrassed, to solicit Red's help in my predicament so I sat nervously at the window looking out and wondering what the hell I was going to do. My only defense...Cheddar Cheese Chex Mix really stinks! Especially in small spaces...and it was my new truck, after all.
I decided to write my friend, Cara, and confess my misdeed. Meanwhile, I spotted two foxes arguing over who got to hold the bag of Chex Mix in my driveway. "Great," I muttered, hoping Red didn't notice the scene occurring in the driveway. "Well, hurry up and eat it all and be gone with you", I mumbled at the window. As a car drove by, I hoped that my neighbors didn't assume I was freely feeding the wildlife...I am staunchly opposed to feeding the animals. Should I retreat and ask Red to remedy the problem, I wondered when suddenly a skunk arrived on the scene. Crap. And this is when Red decided to acknowledge the bag of Chex Mix in the driveway. My little indiscretion was now a contender for a bigger problem than our tiff we had had earlier.
Interestingly, the skunk held his ground while the only remaining fox looked on cautiously. I don't blame him!
"Oh, Dear God, please don't let that skunk spray that fox! Not there! Not mere feet from my house!" As I sat at the window, sweating profusely, Red remained vigilant at the front door in his silent observance. Gulp.
Finally, the skunk left. A quick saints be praised flashed through my head when suddenly I noticed that darn skunk was waddling right back, challenging his competitor! We watched in horror; waiting for the green, malodorous mist to materialize before us. But after a brief Tete`-a-tete between the skunk and the fox, the skunk left again. This time, the fox was going to have the last word and it deliberately piddled on the Chex Mix bag! "That will fix that skunk," I heard the fox say as he trotted off, snickering, into the nearby bushes. Soon, the skunk returned and joyfully played with the bag, clearly mocking the fox and then he had the audacity to proudly wear the Chex Mix bag over his head like a hat! I heard a distant sigh of disgust rising from the bushes as I moved from the window.
